How to Have a Great Conversation

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Two Methods:Sample Conversation TopicsHaving Your Own Great Conversation

The art of conversation takes practice, but it's not as hard as you might think. Whether it's at a dinner party, your school, or over the phone, a great conversation starts when two or more people are on the same page and feel comfortable talking with each other. By following the steps in this article, you can learn to relax and have a great conversation with just about anybody.

Sample Conversation Topics

Sample Ways to Keep a Conversation Going

Sample Conversation Starters

Great Conversation Topic Examples

Having Your Own Great Conversation

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   Find out a few things about the person you'll be talking to (if you can) before you actually start a conversation. Websites as well as Facebook and Twitter profiles can be good sources of information, as long as you're careful not to come across as a stalker. Kick off the conversation with some interesting information that's not too personal.
   • "I was looking at the biochemistry department website and saw that you're working on a pretty interesting thesis! How did you come to choose that topic?"
   • "I saw on the office memo that you're working on the outreach project for local schools. How's that going?"
   • "Is it true that you just went skydiving?"
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   Ask questions so that the other person can talk about himself or herself."What do you like to do?" "What sort of things have you done in your life?" "What is happening to you now?" "What did you do today or last weekend?" Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. People love having a chance to discuss their passions or their subjects of expertise.
   • Ask questions for clarification. If your conversation partner is talking about an occupation or activity you do not understand, take the opportunity to learn more.
   • Make sure that your interest appears genuine. Maintain eye contact and nod your head or interject comments like, "That's interesting."
   • Use open-ended questions. Skip the simple "yes" or "no" questions. Instead, ask a question that will allow your partner to talk extensively. "So you love to go hang gliding. What made you get into it in the first place?"
   • Start superficial. Ask more generic questions at first. Then, gauge your partner's comfort level. If your partner seems willing to open up, then you can ask some more personal questions.
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   Inject invitation and inspiration.
   • An "invitation" happens when you say something that lets your partner know that it's his or her turn to speak. Generally, invitations come in the form of questions.
   • "Inspiration" means that you come up with a great topic that makes your partner want to have a discussion. For instance, you could share a funny story that will remind your partner of a similar thing that happened in his or her life, or you could share your thoughts about something and inspire your partner to respond.^[1]
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   Comment on a general interest topic. Some people briefly read the current events section of the news so that if the conversation runs dry, they can comment on something of general interest.^[2] "Did you hear about the new underground park being built in uptown?" is both interesting and informative.
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   Listen actively. A conversation will go nowhere if you are too busy thinking of other things, including what you plan to say next. If you listen well, you'll identify questions to ask based on the other person's statements.
   • Paraphrase back what you heard the person say. "So you're saying that skydiving is the biggest rush you've ever experienced?" Doing this shows respect for the other person and gives him or her the chance to correct your understanding, affirm it or embellish upon it.
   • Encourage the other person to do most of the talking. Your conversation partner will feel as though you are attentive and engaged, and you will get the credit for being a great conversationalist.
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